We're All The Couch Now | Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt

“We’re all the couch now.”
A soft, stylish tribute to the moment American politics hit rock-bottom... and then made it weird. This tee is a wink to those in the know—a coded burn for those who remember the memes, the headlines, and the horrifying mental image.

Whether you’re doomscrolling, protesting, or simply trying to survive a country where JD Vance is somehow the Veep and not banned from furniture stores, this shirt says it all without saying too much.

Cozy, cottony, and just the right amount of unhinged. Because in 2025, solidarity means accepting that none of us are safe from being turned into internet lore.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti or Guatemala

Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Size guide